With many perceptions, comes only one conclusion
I still remember
the day like it was yesterday. The smell, taste, sounds and even the weather outside
embedded in me forever. It was a hasty and foggy morning outside; I nervously walked
into the building, walked towards the elevators and waited until I got off the
6th floor, which was the very top floor. I could hardly hear myself think in
the elevator from all the employees greeting each other and the ladies gossiping
about last night’s soap opera, there was also the smell of the ladies that had sprayed
one spray too many of perfume and the fact that we were side by side all packed
in one small elevator like sardines. Yet, I do remember saying to myself “what
was I thinking accepting this type of job”. Once I arrived at the sixth floor,
I went through some double doors and slowly walked down the hallway. I walked by
each room, which had small windows on each corner of the door for the purpose
of viewing inside the room, without making noise from the squeaky and rusted
doors and prevent myself from waking up the clients.
As I passed each room one by one the
reflection of the sunrise, from the small window would strike my face. For a
near second, it felt like one of those action western movies where everyone
could hear the new guy walking in the bar from the sound of his cowboy boots.
He would be chewing on a tooth pick with his cowboy hat slanted down to one
side of his face and chucking down a glass of ice cold draft beer. The only
difference with me and that cowboy was that I didn’t have cowboy boots or the
hat or the tooth pick in my mouth, I was actually there to help people and not
hurt them. There was not a sound of any type
of movement, quiet enough to hear a pin drop from the other side of the
hallway.
After a few
minutes went by, I started to see people coming out of their rooms and, after
an hour or so, most of them were out walking the hallways. The sound quickly
changed from quiet to loud; the smell from the housekeeper’s air freshener to
the horrific order of dirty unwashed clothes and people that had not showered
in weeks. The taste went from breathing normal air through your nose to having
to breathe through your mouth to prevent from throwing up. That is when it hit
me that I had left a perfectly fine nine to five to come work with clients that
I did not care much about. I might have
view them as being dirty, disrespectful, gruesome, and down right nasty. At
this point, I had really regretted accepting my new job at a mental institute.
I had always learned to deal and adjust to different types of work environment
but felt, with this new job, I would have to adjust drastically.
I was always
taught to not judge a book by its cover, but I just couldn’t help it. I viewed
everyone in that room as being crazy to the point of no return. I had always
wondered where all the crazy ex-girlfriends went after the break up, and now I
know. Once I saw the amount of young people that was there, I was in a state
of shock. I knew that there were crazy people in this world, again from all the
ex-girlfriends - those that threatened and warned me to watch my back if I were
ever to walk down a dark alley by myself. I guess I just didn’t realize there
were so many of them. As the day went by, I started to feel more comfortable. I
was interacting with clients and getting to know the reason for their admission to the hospital. Just as I was getting in the grove and letting my shoulders
relax, after initially walking around with my chest popped up like I had just killed a
bear with my own hands and skinned its fur, the worst of the day was about to
take place.
According to this six-foot-five, 275-pound man
covered in tattoos from his neck to wrist, he was certain that he had known
me from his past and was accusing me of trying to steal his wife from him. I
was shocked and scared; scared, I don’t know why, maybe because I wasn’t sure
if it was true. I quickly started to recollect my thoughts of all the recent
relationships I was involved in and wondered if one of them was married and
failed to tell me. After looking at him with a blank and confused stare, I slowly
saw a smile forming on his face. That is when I knew he was just trying to
scare me senseless.
It was three o’clock and I was ready to run out of there. I
was unsure if I was going to return the next day or call it quits. Walking down
the hallway, aiming towards the exit doors, I gave the place one last long look.
As I looked around, seeing all those mentally ill clients that I once considered
scary and labeled as dirty, loud, obnoxious, smelly and even disgusting, now
seemed more like people in need of severe medical attention. I knew then that
this job was going to change the way I had viewed many different things in my life,
especially people.
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